It’s late at night and I’m still really bothered by some aggression that happened in the surf this morning. Thrown again by cro-magnon belief in ownership rights over a lump of water.
There was absolutely nothing about the waves to get excited about. About knee-high and just super chilled. Five guys on a bank sitting around on longboards. Sets that came every five or seven minutes. Lots of waiting around. A nice way to start the day.
Blue-Tip, (board descriptions have been changed to protect identities) is out there catching every single wave he wants. He’s paddling for everything, cross-stepping, he’s doing alright. He’s catching ten waves to my one. “It’s a pleasure to watch you surf.” I tell him. We chat for a bit.
He and Green Board paddle for the same wave. Green Board is to his feet first (in my understanding, he now has right of way) and calls Blue-Tip off of the wave, which was going right.
For what ever reason, Green Board then goes straight.
When he comes off the wave, Blue Tip is screaming at him. “You fuckin’ call me off a right to go straight?! Come over here and I’ll fuckin’ have you you fuckin’ kook!”.
Bear in mind, it’s not even 7am - there’s barely a hint of breeze, the sun is warming our backs, the seagulls are cruising overhead - it’s a lovely morning.
Yet Blue-Tip’s insistance that all your waves are belong to him is stinking up the vibe like someone took a shit in the middle of your living room at a house party.
Blue-Tip paddles directly at Green Board, shouting curses the whole time.
The rest of us shift uncomfortably wondering if we’ll see someone get hit.
Green Board takes a torrent of verbal abuse, paddles off to the shoulder, catches a close-out into the shore, and goes home.
Blue-Tip paddles back towards me and tries to carry on the conversation like nothing ever happened.
No, I do not want to talk to you.
This is what bothers me the most about surfing.
Self-righteous assholes like Blue-Tip who believe every wave is their wave, and MUST be ridden either by them, or how they would ride it.
This surf-rage fascism just bothers me greatly.
Blue-Tip will probably never read this, but he’s everything that’s wrong with surfing for me. I must say I was completely thrown by his negative vibes, falling on take-offs, surfing terribly as I imagined his glare observing my every move.
I thought about some things I would say to him if I had the balls to confront him, but I sure as shit didn’t feel like getting punched in the face this morning so I kept quiet.
But if you read this and think that you may have ever been the guy on the Blue-Tip board try and remember a few things:
-Please consider that there’s always another wave.
-Try to remember we all have to learn how to do everything, no-one’s born an expert.
-In my experience, watching someone else enjoy something you enjoy, is a surprising source of joy.
Perhaps next time, I’ll speak up.